It's been exactly six years since I've been completely single. How crazy is that? Two relationships later, I think I've figured myself out. Yes, I am insecure. But I've also realized that in both cases I was SELFLESS while they were SELFISH. I always forgave, I always accepted, I always let them have the best of me. So yes, I am insecure. Because of this, I hardly find the difference between being the heartbroken and the heartbreaker. Either way it hurts. And, it will hurt again when the other person moves on. Will I ever be ok? Of course, I know it for a fact. It's just a process, like the flu, I gotta wait it out. Hurt, then anger, then peace.
In the meantime, people have always told me that I'm so strong and brave to have gotten through the things I've been through. My reply was always, "Strong? Then why am I crying?" It took me a while to realize that being strong isn't the inability to show emotion. I am only human. Being strong is the ability to make decisions for yourself...to be SELFISH for once instead of SELFLESS. I refuse to let another man take advantage of my heart. Lie to me one time, I dare you.
I am 25. I am single. I am "ok," but one day I will be great...
"We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is somehow always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain; when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it." - Grey's Anatomy
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
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