i LOVE december

As if this past week wasn't busy with holiday goodness, these next two weeks are gonna be crazy! I really hope every single day in the next week feels like forever. (Mainly because I'm not ready for my age to change.)

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Off topic: I was sitting in the jury duty lounge and this lady across the aisle from me opened her bottle of Sprite that squirted EVERYWHERE. I pretended not to notice because #1 I was laughing so hard in my head and #2 I didn't wanna walk to the bathroom to get napkins for her. Maybe this is why when I opened a fresh bottle of soda yesterday, it popped too? Damn karma. Haha.

12 Days til Christmas

Physiology...DONE. Now, let my December begin!

I feel like I have my life back again. It's so wonderful to know I can relax after 8 hours of work each day, to use my weekends for errands, to sleep in, and to basically do whatever I want without thinking of the consequences for wasted time not studying. Ahhhh, loooooooove it!!

I tried replacing my headlight bulb on my own today. Failed. I couldn't get the electric connector to come off :( Another attempt soon because I feel retarded with a headlight and brake light out. AND they're both on the drivers side! My car is getting old.

I like shopping for gifts. This year though, it feels like I'm matching each gift I buy with two additional things for me. Haha. Only because I never go shopping and now that I have to go shopping, might as well kill two birds with one stone :) At least they were GOOD deals!

Just a thought...

Since my birthday is constantly overshadowed by the holidays, do you think that if I combine my Christmas wish with my birthday wish and even my New Year's wish, that it will come true?

I think it should.

Happy December!

No comment

Lately, I've been feeling more animosity and jealousy towards people. I'm not talking about materialistic things, but more of situations and opportunities that they possess and I wish I had as well. Of course I keep these thoughts to myself but still, it's not fair...then again, is anything in life ever??

No doubt, I am thankful for the things I do have. I think I'm just being human for wishing for more, for wanting for more, and for longing for more. That's okay...right?

Heh...tis' the season.

♥ How did he know?

Now I can study in peace :)

Don't be jealous.

So in love...

I'll have a Saturday and a Sunday...please?

I absolutely cannot wait until I get my weekends back. It's been freakin tiring this semester but well worth the sacrifice. Only problem is..what's my schedule going to look like next semester? All the classes I wanna take are already up to 20 ppl waitlisted and I'm not even close to my reg date. Damn you budget cuts..you're stressing me out more than this test coming up!!

I didn't really like this song before but now I'm totally in love with it. Maybe because Jay-Z did an awesome job mixing it? Maybe because I can relate to it more....


"so lets just stay in the moment,
smoke some weed, drink some wine,
reminisce talk some shit forever young is in your mind"

I'm not scared of growing old...just growing old too fast.

The processes:

1. of hair growing - sucks!
2. of getting up in the morning - dreadful!
3. of studying for a test - time consuming!
5. of planning for the future - stressful!
6. of doing something for someone else - wonderful :)

PS. Random thought of the week, why is it every morning I know I soaped my body, I know I washed my face, I know I shampooed my hair, but I always forget whether or not I've conditioned my hair? I stand there for a second, thinking really hard and end up doing it again (or maybe I never really did it?). Better safe, than sorry!

The only kinda B's I like

Boyz II Men...second concert of the year and Bonuses...second one in two months

Candy

She's totally ready to spend some quality time with me...


Introducing....Caroline, the recycling bin!


She was having such a fun time @ Madel's that her handle broke :(


Getting ready for round 2!


Action shot:

W.O.W.

I'm sorry, did I unknowingly step into a time machine?

I think I'm mad enough to fight whatever shit I hear tonight.

Ughhhhhhhhhhh.....same o'l person.

Amazing.

The take off:


The flight:



The landing:


Done and.......DONE :)

Backup

All I wanna say is that you better not try to steal my parking spot. You have been warned, thank you.

DQ

Today was one of those days, where I swear even if you looked at me funny, I would have cried.

All I wanted was some Choco Gummies to make me my day and Ranch 99 didn't have any.

Two Exits

That's all there is from California to Mexico...but let me just tell you, I was a little confused when I was at the shopping center off Palm Ave. I needed a new hairbrush and stopped by Sally's Beauty Supply before heading to Starbucks. It was right next to Wal-Mart, where I kid you not, cars were loitering playing that Mexican mariachi stuff and causing all kinds of nonsense traffic. Upon purchasing my brush, the lady goes, "Habla espanol?" WTF?? Since we obviously had a language barrier she proceeded to put a sample of something on the back of my hand without my permission. Okaaay...? Then, I walk out and see a mother effin paletero man in the parking lot! I have to admit though, I was tempted to buy something :)

Anyways, Caroline is now a whole-hand-old!



She didn't want to smile, so I helped her out a bit:

12 Months

So, I guess I've been at MARG for exactly one year now? Didn't even realize it until my coworker said something. Aren't I due for a raise or something?? Dammit.

Something that I am currently entitled to is an upgrade for my cell. Usually I'm counting down the days until I can get an upgrade because I hated my phone but I think I still love my Blackjack <3 I'll just save it for a rainy day.

I'm totally itching to take a trip to Hawaii or the east coast. Ugh. First, I must pay this parking ticket I got at school. Eff you school police!

October Sky

Went out last night wearing boots, a scarf, and a cardigan. This cool air is definitely refreshing on my brown skin and despite me being a "so-cal girl," I'm actually looking forward to winter this year. Gimme some hot cocoa, my rainbow blanket and call me a happy camper. Actually, add in a replay of "He's just not that into you," while you're at it.

Other things that make me a happy camper; in no particular order - physio test #1= A, bonus check (the real bonus came from an email my boss sent me saying I received one of the larger bonuses among the others and she appreciates my hard work), and my ever so growing hair.

Lately, I've been checking Craigslist every day for a turtle. I already have a name picked out :) So far, none that I love so I just may need to take a trip to Chinatown. LA anyone??

I have such good memory that sometimes it's not a good thing.

Anyways, it's Friday night and I'm home and I love it. I also loooove song covers. Note to self, go to a Mariah Carey concert before she starts a family and stops performing.

Today, I'm just a TINY bit, sorta, KINDA...sad.

ajflsajfoi;ewj

Oh my gosh, I freakin hate this chapter!!!! It's super boring and super long!!

Hate you neurons!!

Off the record

"So here's my theory: you guys know about survival of the fittest right? Well if you think about it, they say that smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol kills brain cells so doesn't this mean that the weak cells die off first? This allows your brain to expend energy only on the good cells that need it instead of sharing it with the weak cells. Makes sense right? Therefore, smoking and drinking can only make you smarter!"- physiology instructor

HAHA..I freakin love his justification! Don't get me wrong, he's a smart guy (undergrad at UCSD, masters from SDSU, and currently works in UCSD research) but he's young and hella random at times.

So, smoke on and drink on bhetches!!

Vent Sesh

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Haha :) Thanks for reading!

This girl ALWAYS knows

Hot Days and Equally Hot Nights

Summer 2009 will definitely go down in history...It's been crazy good and crazy bad but all in all it was damn fun! Since I failed at blogging about the season's events, please enjoy some visual stimulating highlights as follows:

"09 Reunion 09" - Memorial weekend in the bay


"Summer highlights" - Literally


"Because we're six girls" - Girls first trip to Sin City




"Let's go PADRES!" - Fourth of July game with the sibs


"Never Say Never" - The Fray concert @ Coors Ampitheater


"Caramel Apples" - Seaport Village



"I'm Just a Girl In The World" - No Doubt concert @ Coors Ampitheater


"Shot, Shot, Shot!" - Vegas Part Duece


"Cuz Tonight's Gonna Be A GOOD Night" -First timers @ Street Scene feat. BEP


"25, Single, and Sexy" - Madel's Birthday BBQ


Not pictured: Neyo concert in Highland, CA

As awesome as summer was, I think I'm ready to wrap myself up in a scarf and put on my boots! Tomorrow is the first official day of autumn...and as summer goes, so will the highlights :( Can it be December already?? It's only the best month of the year!

Last of the Obana's

Darius is now a freshman at the University of California, Irivine. We are officially a family of UCs!

Missed out on his move in like I missed out on Edwin's...super sad!

Everything is just a reminder of how grown we all are.

So...this is the life?

I totally underestimated how difficult it would be to take a science course, with lab, while working full time. I work 8 hours, come home and watch 90210 while making dinner, eat, and hopefully do homework from 8-12. Not to mention, since class is on weekends, every day of the week I HAVE to be somewhere. It's crazy, but I don't mind being busy. If only I had a bomb teacher, maybe I wouldn't spend so much time reading the entire chapter to fully grasp all concepts. I think I take about half a page of notes in a 3.5 hour lecture? That's horrible. I promise he says, "Ya'll know this right? From anatomy? So I don't have to go over it," at least every 15 minutes. Why can't he just explain the damn thing?? I remember I used to be annoyed when professors reviewed the basics.

Berkeley and community college are definitely two different worlds and I definitely feel like I took my undergrad years for granted now. I think I'd rather be lost with too much information rather than learn at a mediocre level.

Ugh, I just HOPE all this sacrifice pays off. I just wanna be a nurse already! :(

Circa 2005

With people WHO I love.
But WHAT am I wearing?
And WHERE else but Allston?
Plus, WHY did I ever choose that hair color?

Day After Labor Day

New strategy for studying/reading/doing homework:

Do not sign on gchat.

Smart eh?? We'll see if it pulls through :)

ps. I had a patient today with a nasty wart on his chest. I'll be a great nurse some day :p

pps. As much as "500 Days of Summer" was a good movie, I didn't LOVE it only because it didn't have a happy ending. I'm such a sucker...

gemini cricket

patient: did you get a promotion?
me: no, why?
patient: because you look like you've taken a lot of responsibility lately. your mind is busy.
me: really? well, the other coordinator has been out sick the past two days so i've been seeing patients on my own. wow, that's crazy! how could you tell?
patient: i'm a psychic. i picked up on your energy.
me: whaaaaat?? well, tell me about my love life! haha




and so she briefly read my palm...

School Mode

My weekends are now taken up by Physiology every Saturday and Sunday until December...no more weekend trips :(

I unknowingly bought highlighters that are erasable. How effin crazy is that??

Best part of going back to school is definitely new school supplies!

Oh learning, how I missed thee.

Hotter than life

I kinda miss being sick, but only for two reasons. 1) my awesome man voice because it made me laugh 2) I didn't buy starbucks for two weeks because I preferred juice instead.

Totally stressed about 1) getting into my physio class 2) planning out the next five years of my life. As long as I'm a nurse by 2012 and have my own house with a maltipoo by age 30, I'll consider myself having "made it" in life.

I'm pretty excited for one reason: I'm now important enough to have my own business cards.

You look so good in love...

ALMOST as good as "One Last Cry"

Don't know what to do with myself

Another bug bite...I knew something was gonna happen this week! Can you imagine my neck swollen?? Haha...I just want to say thanks to my buddy Ben-adryl!

Totally going on a financial vacation post Madel's birthday. So pleeeeeeeeeeease don't ask me to do something because you know I'd totally say yes!

I really hope I can get into my class this fall. I hate the JC system!

Medical History

Swollen insect bite; left foot/ankle: 7/26/09 - 7/31/09
Heat rash; abdomen, back, bilateral arms and legs: 8/2/09 - present
Head cold: 8/3/09 - present
Sadness: 5/09 - unknown

TOL (Thinking Out Loud)

*I found a new mole on my thigh. At first I thought it was a spot from my eyeliner but then a couple of days later it was still there and wouldn't rub off. Should I be alarmed?

*Every morning around 10:30 I have myself a Starbucks iced coffee with three pumps of white mocha, sweetened for for fifty cents. (Gotta love that hospital discount!) But yesterday I was too busy and didn't have one. Why is it that night I could not sleep for the life of me?? Reverse effect, I guess.

*Do you have a task that you just hate doing, but it has to be done? Try saying it out loud with enthusiasm. This definitely makes it more enjoyable. For example, I hate counting drugs. So right before I have to do it, I'll say out loud, "DRUG COOOOOOOUNT!" Then I'll just start laughing, which pretty much carries throughout the entire task. Trust me, it works!

*I tried this new scent I have and the whole day I could smell something good on me. I was like wow, I love this smell! At the end of the day I realized it was just my shampoo since I had put my hair up in a pony tail while it was still wet.

Thank you, for reminding me of all the reasons "why." Seriously, thank you.

To the future

It's been exactly six years since I've been completely single. How crazy is that? Two relationships later, I think I've figured myself out. Yes, I am insecure. But I've also realized that in both cases I was SELFLESS while they were SELFISH. I always forgave, I always accepted, I always let them have the best of me. So yes, I am insecure. Because of this, I hardly find the difference between being the heartbroken and the heartbreaker. Either way it hurts. And, it will hurt again when the other person moves on. Will I ever be ok? Of course, I know it for a fact. It's just a process, like the flu, I gotta wait it out. Hurt, then anger, then peace.


In the meantime, people have always told me that I'm so strong and brave to have gotten through the things I've been through. My reply was always, "Strong? Then why am I crying?" It took me a while to realize that being strong isn't the inability to show emotion. I am only human. Being strong is the ability to make decisions for yourself...to be SELFISH for once instead of SELFLESS. I refuse to let another man take advantage of my heart. Lie to me one time, I dare you.

I am 25. I am single. I am "ok," but one day I will be great...

"We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is somehow always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain; when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it." - Grey's Anatomy

I heart madel <3

Good Day

Sun, skirt, and senses :)

Finally feel back to myself again!

every time i THINK i'm "ok", i realize i'm not. im not gonna lie about it.

i would never wish a break up on anyone, even if i hated their guts. that's how horrible it is.

My heart isn't broken. It's just...empty.

How do you fix an empty heart?

letter O, letter M, letter G

vegas, Vegas, VEGAS!!

Tragic

I killed my beta, Skittle. He just somehow slipped into the drain during a routine tank cleaning. My heart is broken.

What should my next pet be??

super annoyed.

Someone get me outta my slump! Because alcohol can only last so long, haha jk :)

How young do we look here tho?? I think I was 21!

Fun Stories

Today we were sharing crazy patient stories and I just want to share a couple of my favorites of them all (from my co-workers):

1) A man comes in for a study and during the visit asks to use the restroom. He comes back to the room and smells like crap. As she prepares to do an ECG on him,the smell is even stronger. For an ECG you have to place leads on the person's body from their calves, wrists, and chest. As this patient lays on the table, my co-worker proceeds to lift up his pant legs to reach his calves. She then discovers where the smell is coming from: there's POO dripping down all over the man's leg! Disgusted, she tries her best to help clean it off my handing wet paper towels to the man. She finished doing the ECG.


2) Patient comes in for a screening visit. A urine test is administered, mainly because she was a female of child bearing potential. As she comes out of the restroom with her cup, she says, "a couple days ago I used methamphetamine because I wanted to lose weight so you might find it in there. Should I just come back and do it over?" Obviously, this is big exclusion to participate in any study so my co-worker steps out to inform the director. The director comes out to speak to the patient and finds she has already disappeared from the office.

And these were the highlights of my day. I'm still cracking up!

Main Entry: mid–life crisis

Function: noun
: a period of emotional turmoil in middle age caused by the realization that one is no longer young and characterized especially by a strong desire for change


I was watching "High School Musical 3, Senior Year" and damn, I was crazy emotional! I was feeling so jealous of their optimism for the future, having dreams, and, as Miss Keys would say, "teenage love affair." I've been living in the real life for so long, I've forgotten how to wish and hope. Don't you miss those feelings? Breaks my heart.

PS,
I'll try to be a little more optimistic next time.

Definitely, Maybe

Sometimes I just really dislike people. Especially, those people who act superior. Maybe I'm just tired of doing the bitch work and being given a "to-do" list of things that can be done in a second but for some strange reason these people just don't have the time. Fax this, file that, make copies for me. Well, shit! I have a BA, remember?! I don't like being an assistant.

Definitely, not liking the world right now.

Maybe, I'm just jealous.

that's what he said.

on repeat: "love brings change" - jamie foxx

seems like even if i don't go out, i end up spending money on shopping so either way i lose. well kinda, because i love the things i purchase haha

ive been having such a hard time sleeping and waking up for work the past couple weeks. not good. especially since i result to buying coffee to get me through the day. on a good note, work has been great as of late. been keeping really busy and having more opportunities to shine. even though im paranoid that my boss hates my guts (since she constantly passes by when im gchatting or texting) everyday im feeling more and more comfortable. i think i've proven myself the past week handling patients on my own while my coordinator was out for a family emergency. i can totally take on a study by myself!

i should sleep but my head is overflowed with "SIGH's" right now.

I Love You

In this moment of feeling very "Carrie Bradshaw," I pour my heart out:

Every guy who's said those darn three words to me have somehow managed to break my heart into pieces. And every time my defense was, "if you LOVE me, then why are you HURTING me?" Or even better, "but I thought you LOVED me?" Needless to say that those three words have more than lost their meaning. I see them as nothing but useless, meaningless, and full of lies. Thus, my guard has been up ever since to protect myself from any kind of hurt from the opposite sex. Avoid a broken heart by avoiding love. Or at least that's what I thought. Until recently, I've learned of a different kind of love. Love that is unspoken of yet, so strong that words are not even necessary to describe the feeling. Even so, there are moments when I wanna scream "I am sooo in LOVE with you!" Still, it remained what it is...a wonderful secret. Forgive me for accidentally speaking aloud. It feels as if I hurt a best friend by letting others in on our secret. Suddenly I'm back to where I've started with love. No matter what, I guess in some way it can still creep up and crack your heart unexpectedly...even if it has good intentions. I'm not trying to offend anyone else with their experiences in love, I just wanted to let you know mine. And so the guard goes up again...

I'd like to make a promise to myself. The next time I will ever speak of those three words to a man, will be to my husband on our wedding day. At least then maybe, he just might say it and mean it :)

Buzz

I wish we could have one big ol' 06 reunion...I miss Berk and all it's good times. It amazes me everyday how so grown and so wonderful we all are.

Maybe it's just pms but ...can I get something back?

Man this is a good buzz! Which is I I'm trying my best to type right.

Wow wow wow.

I'm hungry.

Whatevs....it was an in the moment kinda thang.

Ooops

March Madness

Or lack there of...

Just got done with a busy month and looking into my calendar for March, it's totally empty until Mike comes at the end of the month. This kinda excites me because I wanna save money soo bad but trips and random things I fall in love with consume my wallet.

Snowboarding is 10x funner when you hardly fall. Makes me wanna buy a board. (There goes a random thing I fell in love with.) I still can't believe we got sunburned in the snow and it was soo hot at Big Bear that I could walk around in a t-shirt. Is that really wrong or what??

I'm sleepy and cannot believe what the bachelor just did. What a true jerk. I hate broken hearts...with that said, I end with this:

"My shattered dreams, and broken heart...." Haha, don't worry..the song doesn't pertain to me. I just really love the song.

i amuse myself

I got a rose over the weekend...aka, runny nose. lately i have been putting words together to make one word. why i do this? i have no idea and didn't even notice until mike pointed it out. it cracks me up how clever i can be.

soo excited

totally got my boots ive been eyeing since last year...yes! i knew they would go on sale and i got them half off :) it was sooo meant to be and im sooo in love haha.

ps. blogging at work = boredom!

pps. why must it rain this weekend in the bay??

no title

one my favorite things to do is let my windows media player play non-stop because all these songs i totally forgot about resurface and it brings me back to a certain feeling/situation/event etc.

Ex. "the look" by ryan tedder .... omg totally freshman year in the dorms, hanging out with drea wishing we had boyfriends! haha! i think i had this song on repeat

i haaaaate this paaaaaaaaaaaaaart, right here.

blah blah, fuckin blah.

anyways, i miss caroline!

brush it off

sticking to the new years resolution to be more kind, be more patient, and show more love...and what better way to start than with myself.

kindness: ive worked hard and haven't spent any of my bonus money on myself, hence shopping :)

patience: the right school will accept me, even if it's the last school i hear from :/

love: i embrace the weight i've gained despite my mom's "you look fatter" comments. :o



ps i have a new beta named skittle who loves to swim.

Stalling.

cutest song ever: Lucky by Jason Mraz feat. Colby Caillat

the GREAT 08'

Indeed it was. I've been so blessed in so many ways, even the few moments where I wished I had acted differently or wished I had not said anything at all were blessings in disguise.

Moving out of Valley Center was kinda tough, but I think it brought me closer to my parents again. It forces communication in my typical "don't share your feelings" Filipino family. And even though I will never like the idea of raves, I still do like Mike. I guess it was about time we had something to fight about? I think it was a good reminder for him to not take my trust for granted and for me to break down any insecurities I carried over from my previous relationships. Are we seriously hitting four years?? Long distance may not be my favorite thing in the world, but he definitely is.

I think my resolution last year was, "carpe diem!" And damn right I seized all 365 days! Traveled to New York with Mike, partied in San Diego like no other...and even brought it to the Bay and LA. Weekly dinners, downtown weekends, and random outtings at its' best. Good times all around...forreal.

So maybe it was a good thing I didn't get into nursing school this time around? I've learned more than I can imagine about myself and the people around me. My work experiences have expanded enormously. From working front and back office in a clinic to now working in clinical research, I've only reaffirmed my desire to become a nurse. My relationships with friends have grown deeper and I actually feel like I have a "group" in San Diego now.

The holidays and my birthday helped end the year perfectly. I've got everything I wanted from uggs, to a new camera, to a great hilarious family, to a wonderful group of friends who made 25 special, to finally spending a NYE with the boyfriend. I'm feeling pretty spoiled by life right now :)

Things can only get better from here right? I'm excited and anxious to see what happens this year...so what's my resolution going to be? Be more patient, be more kind, show more love. Despite all the great things that happened, I think I've developed some type of internal issue with my emotions. That and work on my horrible handwriting!

peace ya'll