Fun Stories

Today we were sharing crazy patient stories and I just want to share a couple of my favorites of them all (from my co-workers):

1) A man comes in for a study and during the visit asks to use the restroom. He comes back to the room and smells like crap. As she prepares to do an ECG on him,the smell is even stronger. For an ECG you have to place leads on the person's body from their calves, wrists, and chest. As this patient lays on the table, my co-worker proceeds to lift up his pant legs to reach his calves. She then discovers where the smell is coming from: there's POO dripping down all over the man's leg! Disgusted, she tries her best to help clean it off my handing wet paper towels to the man. She finished doing the ECG.


2) Patient comes in for a screening visit. A urine test is administered, mainly because she was a female of child bearing potential. As she comes out of the restroom with her cup, she says, "a couple days ago I used methamphetamine because I wanted to lose weight so you might find it in there. Should I just come back and do it over?" Obviously, this is big exclusion to participate in any study so my co-worker steps out to inform the director. The director comes out to speak to the patient and finds she has already disappeared from the office.

And these were the highlights of my day. I'm still cracking up!